i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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