ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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