It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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