next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
