Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
