his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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