Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
