I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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