I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
