You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
