the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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