i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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