Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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