i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
