halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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