i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I checked into jail on foursquare
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
