Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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