you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
