oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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