and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize