I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
