I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
