He is an equal opportunity slut.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
