can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
