seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
