Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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