I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
