Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
