The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
