plz talk dirty to me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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