Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just gift wrapped bread.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize