if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
