WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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