I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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