Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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