He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
