So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
