Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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