so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
