Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
