i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
