Im at strip club and am horny
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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