sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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