She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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