I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
