I CAN MOONWALK!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think my moral compass just broke
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize