I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
