Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
