If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sober January is a disaster.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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