we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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