Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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