Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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