i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
