My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize