But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
