what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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