I will die if light touches me.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize