I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
