i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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