Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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