The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
