Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
