Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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