"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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