You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
