i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
