You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dignity is for republicans.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
