How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm too high and old for this...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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