oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
