That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
